Ask Gigi: Maneuvering Around a Sensitive Clitoris

Dear Auntie G,

I’m all about women being about the clit life. It’s great, but I have an issue. Whenever my boyfriend rubs my clit, it doesn’t feel good to me. It’s overwhelming! Even when he goes down on me, my clit is just too sensitive. I want to enjoy myself and I want to have more orgasms, but I’m not sure what to do. Everything I read says that clit is life and I have got a guy who is all about it, but sometimes I can’t get off! Am I weird? I don’t know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

-M, female, 22

Hey girl!

First of all, thank you for bringing such an important topic to light. All things clitoris-related are important. Do not stress. You are not weird.

It’s easy to fall into the line of thinking that because your body doesn’t do something that you think it “should” or enjoy something you think it “should,” it can be discouraging. After all, the clitoris has long been ignored and deserves its day in the sun. What a bummer to find that it’s ultra sensitive. I totally get it.

The thing is, all bodies are different and enjoy different things. What may work for one person, won’t always work for someone else. This can even happen with clitoral stimulation. While all orgasms are connected to the clit, not every clit is the same.

Direct stimulation, that is full on attention to the clitoris, is too much for some vulva/vagina owners. That’s OK. It happens. Since your clit is so sensitive to physical touch, try a few techniques to take away some of that intense stimuli.

What you need is indirect clit stim. It may sound simple, but it’s actually a little more complicated than you might think. That’s why I’m here to explain, bb.

The clitoris is a lot larger than you might realize. It’s what artist Sophia Wallace called an iceberg, not a button. Meaning, there is a much to the clit that is below the surface. The exposed part of the clit (the glans) is the bitty nubbin on top.